By Patrick T. Malone
How shifting language away from the customer and toward the issue helps sales leaders defuse negativity and build alignment.
No matter how skillful your sales presentation is, distribution reps are likely to encounter negative reactions. When dealing with negative attitudes, reps must stay focused on their goal and realize the customers with negative attitudes are not rejecting the rep or their goal. The customer’s negativity is mostly directed at the plan and/or the strategy for achieving the goal.
In other words, they are resisting “it” (the plan/strategy) and not “you” (the rep). If you look at negative attitudes in this manner, you can maintain the confidence necessary to acknowledge the customer’s point of view and align with even the most emotional negative attitudes,
When responding to negative customers, avoid saying “I know how you feel,” “You sound frustrated,” or “You seem skeptical.” Instead, take the “you” out of the response and focus on the issue by using “it.” For example: “that appears to be a problem,” “it can be frustrating,” or “skepticism is perfectly understandable.”
Switching pronouns from you to it may seem like a small thing now, but in a sales leadership interaction, this simple act is extremely powerful in helping your customers separate themselves from the problem at hand. Utilizing terms such as I and you often create a competitive win/lose battle by causing problems to become internalized. “If I can prove my point, will you drop yours” is a terrible sales strategy and a game no customer wants to play.
“It” problems, not people
Using “it” puts the focus on the issues and concerns. Instead of problems becoming people problems, you turn all issues and problems into it. By removing you from the discussion and triangulating from you and me to “it”, all issues and problems become an “it” and aligning begins – you and me versus it.
Consider these triangulated examples:
Customer: “Why bother? At my age I’m not interested in increasing my workload or adding staff.”
Rep: Sounds like that isn’t a priority. What are the priorities at this moment in time?
Customer: “AI is not beneficial in a primary care practice. It doesn’t work.”
Rep: It is disappointing when a plan doesn’t work. So, let’s look at some of the more proven effective and less expensive ways to lighten the workload in practice.
Customer: “I’d be uncomfortable investing a lot of money in disaster preparedness for a 100-year event that may or may not occur.
Rep: It appears that could be a risky situation so let’s explore some ways to mitigate the risk.
Customer: “I’m not cutting my margin just to keep a few price shoppers. Let them go to Drug Mart.”
Rep: Got it. Margins are important so let’s stop here and explore the options for protecting the pharmacy business without drastically impacting margins.
Customer: “You are going to have to prove to me that investing more in primary care will ease the burden on emergency rooms”
Rep: Looks like more proof is needed before proceeding and that is fine. Let’s review the performance of some of the hospitals that have implemented the program then determine if it would work in this practice.
Working all the angles
Effective sales leaders are skillful at working with all the possible negative attitudes and it is certainly easier to do business with customers who are open or positively inclined. However, the most successful sales leaders can influence conversations even when they turn negative.
Your personal and professional success hinges on your ability to align a full range of negative and positive attitudes. Depersonalization is a key component of that competency. Try it and find out for yourself.
If you’re still having difficulty managing a specific point of resistance, send me your customer’s actual negative response plus background on the situation and I will send you some recommended responses for your consideration.
Key points
1. Negative reactions are about the plan – not the rep
Customers with negative attitudes are usually resisting the strategy or proposal, not the salesperson personally. Viewing resistance as “it” rather than “you” helps reps stay confident, objective, and aligned.
2. Shift language from “you” to “it” to reduce defensiveness
Removing “you” from responses and focusing on the issue (“it can be frustrating,” “that appears to be a problem”) helps depersonalize the conversation and prevents a win/lose dynamic.
3. Triangulation creates alignment, not confrontation
Reframing objections as you and me versus it turns tension into collaboration. This approach keeps discussions focused on solving the problem rather than proving a point.
Patrick Malone is a leadership mentor and independent business advisor with over 40 years of experience. Malone started in customer service with American Greetings in Cleveland, Ohio, where he worked his way up to the role of vice president for the Southeast region. In the last 20 years, he’s worked with a company called The PAR Group, focusing on sales leadership development. Most recently, he’s hosted several live talk radio shows in a two-hour block every weekday morning. To contact Pat, email ptm4936@gmail.com.