How to identify and overcome the rut in your life.
By Pete Mercer
Have you ever found yourself in a rut? You might not have noticed it at first, or even how it happened, but many of us have encountered a rut in our careers, personal lives, and relationships. Plenty of things can contribute to a rut, especially in the workplace. You can feel purposeless and adrift, which will drastically impact your mood and productivity.
The challenge with finding yourself in a rut is making sure that you can pull yourself out of it. Easier said than done, but it’s still possible with the right amount of focus and tenacity. Repertoire recently spoke to Rob Cross, filmmaker, coach, public speaker, and author of “Flip Your Thinking”, a book designed to help people unlock their careers, their relationships, and their purpose by pulling themselves out of a rut.
What causes a rut?
The best place to start is identifying the source – what is causing your rut? It could be a multitude of combinations and pressures, and they could differ each day. Despite all the possibilities, Cross speculates that it comes down to familiarity. “I think we are all addicted to familiarity. It is so comfortable. There is no risk, no discomfort. We love feeling in control.”
Comfort can mean a lot of things to a lot of different people. Sometimes it’s a relationship that we need to give up, other times it’s a job that no longer serves our needs. For some, the lull of nostalgia acts as a comfort to those who want to live in the past. No matter how it manifests, that comfort we feel in the familiar can be a dangerous drug, keeping us stuck in what we already know. Why would we bother taking a risk when we don’t have to?
“There is no real challenge in a rut,” Cross said. “It is cozy and there is no threat. But there is no prize either – it offers no reward, no fulfillment. That is why we reach a point where enough is enough. We are designed and geared to grow and get better. Everything that’s alive grows, that’s the design of life. When we’re not growing, we feel rotten and stuck.”
Applying “flipology” to your life
Flipology is a sort of tongue-in-cheek term that Cross coined to describe the recognition that life may not be working out the way that you planned. That outlook on life is something we have all felt at some point, but it doesn’t make it any less difficult or painful.
With this flipology principle, you can flip the way you think and react to difficult situations. Cross said, “The foundation of flipology is recognizing that I’m not a product of my environment, but my environment is a product of me. We tend to see our lives as a chess set of manipulating pieces around to make it work for us, but our lives are closer to a classroom. Everything and everyone is my teacher. Instead of resisting, I’m engaging. Responding over reacting. I am exactly where I brought myself.”
As for applying the principle of flipology, he said that it’s just like anything else – taking it one step at a time. The first step is recognizing that you’re stuck, which Cross says is hard for many people to do. After that, we must identify what isn’t working and how we can fix it. All too often, our blame is holding us in place.
Cross understands what it’s like to be stuck in a rut because he’s been there before. He said, “When my last marriage didn’t work out, I was ruined. I felt ruined because I watched my parents in love for 49 years. I knew that marriage worked. I knew love worked, but my marriage didn’t work, and I was ready to tell you why – it was her. I reached a point where I was frustrated and ready to do things differently.”
For Cross, that was his first flip. When he took responsibility for his marriage not working, it brought him to a place where he felt the power to create the love, life and marriage that he wanted. Despite how hard of a pivot that was, it changed everything for him.
Leveraging flipology for sales
In a sales setting, being in a rut can feel like a death sentence. You can feel like you are stuck in a cyclical pattern where you aren’t meeting your quotas, unable to meet or anticipate the needs of your clients. If you let it get to you, this rut could cost you clients or even your job.
This is why the flipology principle is so critical for the sales industry. Sales reps are faced with rejection every day, and you must be able to roll with the punches, no matter how often they come. When you let yourself believe the lies that can infiltrate your minds facing so much rejection, it will impact the way you think about yourself.
While it may not be truth, we can convince ourselves of anything. When we spend enough time believing it about ourselves, we can manufacture a falsehood that others will believe to be true as well. Your coworkers, leadership team, and your customers will see how it affects you. Push back against those intrusive thoughts and reclaim the truth.
Cross said, “The power of your thinking is severely underrated. You are what you think, and you need to recognize that you are either going to control your thoughts or be controlled by your thoughts. Grab them by the horns. Claim your brilliance.”